Nº. 2 of  9

Fucking Advice

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I'm fucking sixteen and I have had a fucking crush on this fucking shy guy for a while. We've been talking hugging a lot. He fucking texts me all the time and took em to teh movies and I fucking think he likes me back. We wanna go to the fucking amusement park together, and I'm thinking about telling him how I feel about him. (He's fucking shy, so he probably won't tell me if he has feeling for me) Should I tell him how I feel? And if so, should I do it before, at or after the amusement park) asked by Anonymous

Anonymous, it generally fucking sounds like you have a good fucking thing going for you and that you need to just accept that and have some fucking fun. He obviously fucking likes you if you’re spending that much fucking time together. Yes telling your true feelings to someone is fucking scary, but if you don’t you two will never be fucking anything other than friends. You mentioned that he’s fucking shy, so I doubt he’s going to be the one to make that first fucking move. I’d say keep things the way they fucking are right now, and see how the day at the amusement park goes. If things went fucking fantastically, then decide whether or not you’d like to fucking tell him how you feel. Ultimately you’ll fucking know when the right time is.

How the fuck should i relax myself? I recently just broke up with my boyfriend and he was the one who initiated it. I am lost. I fucking love him so much. He left me cause he has had it with my attitude. I've been trying hard to change while with him. Sigh. Now i need help in calming down. I still have that little hope in me that we'll be together again someday. I just need to fucking push that sadness away for a moment, but i don't fucking know how.. ): asked by breakfastformafia

breakfastformafia, I really do fucking sympathize. I’m on a “break” right now with my significant fucking other, and I’m losing my fucking mind. I can totally fucking relate. With that in fucking mind, I’m seriously trying not to get fucking emotional right now and give you some solid fucking advice. Because that’s what I fucking do. I give amazing fucking advice. The feeling of “loss” or being fucking “lost” is probably the most common fucking feeling when a relationship ends. Whether you’re aware of it or not, they fucking take away a part from you, and you fucking become someone a little bit different than yourself, before you fucking met them. Then when they’re out of your fucking life, you feel like you have to fucking relearn how to be yourself, and I can fucking testify that this feeling fucking sucks. In all fucking fairness, did he confront you about your attitude? Did he fucking ask you to change it or he was through with you? Did he fucking initiate anything that made you mad where you felt the need to throw fucking attitude? Or were there times where you were over fucking reacting and throwing attitude where it wasn’t justly deserved? These are the fucking questions you need to ask yourself. You said you were trying hard to fucking change while you were with him, but if he couldn’t fucking appreciate that change, or understand that it takes fucking time and hard work for you to do so… maybe he’s not the fucking guy you thought he was. In my fucking relationship, when all of this fucking “break” mess started, I spiraled out of fucking control a little. My moods were up and fucking down. Crying myself to sleep every fucking night. There are times where the pain is fucking manageable, but then there’s times where the pain fucking had me doubled over. Things are a little bit fucking better now for me, but I’m still fucking hurting and I can’t fucking wait until this “break” is over. Whether it causes the ultimate fucking end to my relationship, or a new fucking beginning. It’s tough but I fucking feel like you need someone to talk more in depth about this, a close fucking friend or two. You need to keep fucking talking about it and your feelings, until you get into a right fucking place. If you don’t want to fucking loose him ask him if this could be a fucking “break” of sorts, that you love him and that you fucking want him in your life. That you will take this time to fucking work on yourself and your attitude, but in all fucking seriousness you wish that you were still with him and fucking hope that he can see that. The best thing to fucking do is literally grab a close fucking friend have a sleep over, cry, vent, talk, laugh, eat, watch movies and try not to fucking think about it. Go for a fucking walk, have a nice hot shower or bath, do stuff that makes you fucking feel normal and safe. There’s no fucking surefire way to push away the fucking sadness of a relationship that has come to an end. If there was I’m pretty fucking sure it’d be pretty fucking well known by now. I really hope you can take it fucking easy, the first day is fucking awful, the second day is fucking atrocious, and the third day is fucking terrible. But that fourth fucking day is where you can fucking manage that sadness. It’s gonna fucking take time to heal, but it’s gonna have to get fucking worse before it gets better. Keep in mind that this will fucking pass, and you still have a life you fucking need to live right now. Best of luck hun, I really fucking feel for you. I hope you are able to fucking work things out soon.

Hi, I seriously have a problem. I'm on the verge of a sexual meltdown! Virgin at 17 wasn't so bad, but a virgin at 24? I'm dying! But I just haven't found Mr. Right yet? Should I start looking on internet dating websites? Should I pay for sex? It's not that I can't get it, but something always turns me off about every guy I meet. Help! asked by Anonymous

Anonymous, I’m gonna be brutally fucking honest. Sex is not as amazing/life changing as people want you to fucking believe. I also believe the first fucking time is very intimate and that you should do it with someone you fucking trust and care for. I think it’s fucking important to have a healthy & fulfilled fucking sex life. It keeps stress down, your emotions in fucking balance, and it’s good fucking exercise… You need to fucking figure out what type of guy really gets you fucking going. You’ve said yourself you’ve had opportunities but a certain fucking something turns you off about every fucking guy you meet. Have you fucking tried to figure out what all those “somethings” were? Maybe they’re fucking related in some way and that right there could be the fucking cause of you stopping yourself from doing the deed. I personally don’t fucking have sex outside of relationships. It’s something that I’ve abided by my entire fucking life. I’ve even had relationships where I didn’t fucking feel a strong enough connection to the person to actually fucking have sex with them. The relationships fucking ended soon afterwards, but by that point I knew we weren’t fucking going anywhere. I say if you’d like to fucking use internet dating do so! I met my recent fucking significant other on OkCupid. It’s a fun fucking website and they match you up pretty fucking well, the surveys are very fucking detailed and fun. I definitely don’t fucking suggest you paying for sex.. you don’t want any fucking STD’s from some cheap gigolo. Be honest with yourself and take it fucking slow, you will get laid.

i am naturally just FAKE. i don't even realize it until i look back. i can't even help the bullshit that that spews out of me. how can i learn to be "me" and not just some sort of projection of who i wish i was/who i think they want me to be....? asked by Anonymous

Anonymous, when someone is “fake” it’s because they’re afraid of what others will fucking think about them when they’re being “real”. You need to fucking get over it. Life is so fucking short, and if you can’t fucking be yourself, and let people fucking accept you for who you fucking are, your life will be a lie and most likely you’ll be fucking miserable. I think you have a bit of fucking soul searching to do, sit down and really fucking try to get re-acquainted with who you fucking are right now. Sometimes it can be really fucking hard. You may not possibly like who you really fucking are right now, but don’t worry, the beauty is that you still have fucking time to change. People change multiple fucking times throughout their lives. Ask yourself, “Who do I ultimately want to be in life?” Realize it, and then try your absolute fucking hardest to make it come true. It’s gonna take some hard fucking work and self love to figure it out, but you need some fucking alone time to do so. If you’re fucking changing yourself as fucking person to be accepted in some sort of a group or click, fucking get over it. It’s fucking bullshit. At the end of the fucking they, you will be the only fucking person in your life that will be there for you and fucking accept you for all of your flaws. Fucking love yourself, don’t ever fucking be afraid to be you.

I need some fucking advice. I've been kind of in love with this girl for a while now, and to my friends it's pretty obvious, but she's clueless. She's become a really good friend and I've developed the cliched fear that telling her how I feel might make things awkward. I've never really dated or anything before, so I've got no idea how to proceed with trying to get a girl. What the fuck do I do? asked by Anonymous

Anonymous, at first it’s always pretty fucking scary to admit that you have feelings for someone, and to realize that they may not have the same fucking feelings in return. First of all I would fucking say to take things slow, have you tried fucking inviting her out on “one on one” excursions before? See how she fucking reacts to that first. Ask her to the fucking movies out of the blue one day, or randomly fucking ask her to catch a bite to eat. If you’re already good enough fucking friends she won’t fucking deny you. I think the fucking key right now is to have fun and try to spend more fucking time with her. She may or may not already have some fucking feelings for you too. As for that cliched fear of telling her how you fucking feel and having things be awkward afterward, you need to fucking get over it. If you really have fucking feelings for her, you just need to fucking go out there and get it. The key to it not being fucking awkward, is to not make it fucking awkward. I’d say spend more fucking time with her, (hopefully as much one on one time as possible) and see where things fucking head. You’ll know when the appropriate fucking time will be to tell her your true feelings. Be casual, sincere, and just have fucking fun. If it’s meant to fucking happen it will happen.

I recently moved in with a friend of mine to a new town where the only person I know is her. Most of the people I work with are older than me, so there aren't many friend possibilities there. And I'm only 20 so I can't really go to a bar. I'm at a loss with what to do with myself, and I feel like whenever I'm not at work I'm just wasting my fucking life away. And whenever I am somewhere like a coffee shop where there are other people around, I'm too fucking socially awkward to even start up asked by Anonymous

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conversations. I have no idea what to do. asked by Anonymous

(PART 2)

Anonymous, it sounds like you’re in a really tricky fucking situation. As much as it’s going to fucking suck you need to fucking get yourself out there. I understand that you’re fucking underage and that a lot of your co-workers are older and most of them like to fucking hang out at bars and clubs, but you should try to fucking make plans with them outside of that. If there is someone at work that you do fucking have good conversations with, talk some more and see if a possible fucking friendship could blossom. As for fucking meeting people in public, starting up conversations with strangers can be really fucking scary, but ultimately it’s really fucking fun. They don’t fucking know you, and you don’t fucking know them. You could be anybody you want to fucking be, so if you’re naturally really fucking shy, pretend to be someone who’s not! If they seem like an open enough of a fucking person, strike up a conversation. If they’re reading a book you’ve read, and you fucking love, mention it! If they’re wearing something that you personally would have fucking bought in a store if you saw it, mention how much you fucking like it and ask them where they fucking bought it. The trick is to not come off too fucking strong and to have good responses that are fucking interesting and fun. It’s gonna take some fucking time but you’ll make friends, I can fucking promise you.

I'm not going to post a huge paragraph. Basically, I like kinky sex and my boyfriend is totally vanilla, but I love him with all of my heart. What the fuck should I do? asked by Anonymous

Anonymous, the best thing you can fucking do is to introduce your kinky fucking side in small steps in the bedroom. Take things fucking slow at first, try something new that you fucking like, and see if he fucking likes it too. Don’t assume because if he fucking doesn’t you could be making him feel really fucking uncomfortable. Ask him if he fucking likes what you’re doing. If he fucking says yes, well then that will give you the fucking confidence to continue to try new fucking things. But whatever you fucking do, don’t overload him at first, you’re going to have to take things really fucking slow. Casually slip some fucking kink in there every now and then. He’ll let you know if he doesn’t fucking like it. If you follow my advice, and he fucking tells you that he doesn’t like all of this fucking kink, tell him it is something that you fucking crave and that it satisfies you. If you fucking love each other you will come to a fucking compromisation. Best of fucking luck.

well i might be fucking pregnant...i took a fucking clearblue test yesterday that was negative but my period is still kinda late even though im never on a regular fucking schedule and my stomach has been feeling weird..i dont know what to fucking do asked by Anonymous

Anonymous, I think the first fucking thing you need to do is to relax. Fucking breathe. Truth is you don’t fucking know if you are or are not pregnant just yet, and you’re in a fucking position right now where you can’t fucking do much. Go out and buy two fucking more pregnancy tests. Try to get two different fucking brands to compare the results. You fucking said yourself that you have a crazy fucking cycle, so maybe you’re just freaking out over fucking nothing. Take the fucking tests, and get back to me.

is this just for relationships or anything? asked by Anonymous

Anonymous, this is a fucking advice blog for anything and everything. No fucking topic is taboo. Ask whatever you fucking want.

Nº. 2 of  9